


Send me an angel

by obviouslyelementary



Series: 'Detroit: Become Human' collection [5]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Death, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Minor Character Death, change my mind, hank and connor are the best dad and son of all history
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 21:03:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15033272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviouslyelementary/pseuds/obviouslyelementary
Summary: So, he cried. He cried during the entire night, and in the back of his mind, he begged with all his strength.Not for Cole, or for himself, but for something.Someone.Anything.





	Send me an angel

**Author's Note:**

> Advised to read while playing the song "Send me an angel" by Scorpions

He remembered it everyday. Ever since his world had turned to shit, he remembered everything as if he could see it in front of his very eyes. Perhaps that was why he turned to drinking. At least for a few hours, he forgot everything.

That numb state was the nicest he could find himself in.

Hank remembered screaming into the dark city around him. He remembered climbing abandoned buildings, punching the life out of walls and glasses and everything else he found on his way. He remembered second guessing himself, standing too close to the edge and looking down, at the infinite choices he had.

He never had courage enough to make the jump.

Or pull the trigger.

Or push the chair.

Not only an asshole, alcoholic prick, but also a coward.

Cole would be so disappointed in him.

His father, a fucked up. Lost his son for a stupid car crash, a stupid android and a doctor filled with toxins inside their veins. Lost his sanity drinking his ass off in cheap bars, spending all his salary in slow ways of killing himself, jokingly playing Russian roulette almost every night next to his dog, whom by now seemed completely unaffected by anything Hank did.

Sure, he would be scared of the shot sound, but then again, he would recover.

Or at least that was what Hank thought about every time he pulled the trigger and the gun didn't come.

Sometimes he wondered if he even put a bullet inside the gun at all, or if he was just so beyond repair that he was beginning to fool himself.

It didn't matter. Cole was probably already ashamed, hating him wherever he was.

At least he never had a chance to fuck it up as a father.

He also never had the courage to return to the graveyard after the burying.

The casket, so small, being put under the many feet of dirty, the stone saying kind words about a child that had lived nothing. That had learned so much, and that had made Hank love and hate himself all over again.

It had been three years since Cole's death when Hank had the courage to return to the graveyard.

He brought flowers, of course, and some child toys. Something he hoped Cole would like, even though he could be completely wrong.

He would never truly know.

Hank kneeled in front of the stone, sighing and touching the ground, over the snow that covered the dirt. He sighed, weakly, and placed the toys and flowers next to the stone, touching it lightly and then moving back once more.

He didn't believe in God. He was skeptical when he was younger, but now he was sure the almighty bitch didn't exist. Not when he had taken his son like this. Someone so cruel couldn't be waiting for anyone in any type of heaven.

Even so, his most desperate human thought, something his mother had thought him when he was very little, took over his body, and he rested his forehead against the stone, letting a sob leave his mouth as he began crying for what felt like the first time since Cole had died.

" _Please..._ " he whispered against the stone, as if someone was listening, as if someone would know. " _Please... I will do anything..._ "

And he would. Just for a day. Just to take Cole's place. Anything. Anything...

But nothing happened. And nothing would ever happen. No one would bring his son back, no one would let him see his son one last time. He would have to do what he had been planning to do, but he had no courage.

So, he cried. He cried during the entire night, and in the back of his mind, he begged with all his strength.

Not for Cole, or for himself, but for something.

Someone.

 _Anything_.

 

 

"God damn it Connor" Hank growled as he turned his car in another street, looking around everywhere to where that fucking android could be.

There had been a bit more than an year since they had met, a little less than an year since Hank had basically adopted the android into his home, and now, in mere October of 2039, suddenly he had decided to vanish from earth with no explanation.

Honestly, October 11 was not a date Hank was willing to get out of his house and do anything. Really. All he wanted to do was to drown himself in the strongest whiskey he had available and enter an alcohol induced coma until he was free of all concerns in the world and was already October 12.

But no. Connor had disappeared from the house without a trace, and for a few hours it was fine, since Hank woke up around 2 pm and he knew Connor would probably go to work even if Hank didn't.

But now, it was 10 pm and there was no sign of the fucking bastard. He hadn't called, reported in, returned, Fowler hadn't warned him of anything, and when he called the station, around 9:30, it all became worst, because they said Connor hadn't shown up the entire day.

So there were only two possibilities: either Connor was really fucking with him really badly, or those Cyberlife bastards had done something to his kid and he was going to find them and destroy them one by one with his bare hands.

He had requested a small team of cops to go ahead and search with him, and Fowler had agreed with barely no hesitation. And Hank couldn't be more thankful, because losing two kids in the same day was a bit too much, even for him.

When that thought came up, Hank suddenly lost his breath. He parked on the nearest parking spot, and rubbed his face, trying to take the thought away.

No. Connor was fine. Wherever he was, he was probably after... someone, maybe a culprit, or maybe... maybe Markus had called him in for a task? Kara could have called him for some tea...

In every scenario he imagined, he could only think of the most horrible things, and considering he was thinking about Connor, they were all very likely. The guy had no value for his life, would get himself in the worst situations possible, no matter what it was.

He had to stop thinking about a dead Connor before he got a panic attack from it.

Suddenly, his phone rang, and he grabbed immediately, looking down and accepting the call without even checking who it was.

"Found your plastic prick" Gavin's voice said, clear as day, and Hank felt his soul leaving his body with relief. He had never been happier hearing Reed's voice before.

"Fuck... is he alive?" he asked, wincing internally at how he had to ask if the boy was alive or not. Gavin chuckled at his comment, and it did sound sarcastic, but there was a weird kind of softness to it.

Something very unlike Gavin.

"Yeah, he is fine. Though I believe you should come check for yourself. I don't want to disturb it" gavin said simply, and Hank furrowed his eyebrows, confused. "I'll send you the address"

"Alright" Hank answered, and turned the call off before looking down, the address quickly showing up.

He frowned deeply at it, and then sighed shakily, putting his phone away and starting the car once more.

Whatever Connor was doing there... he was going to kill him.

 

"Good luck" Gavin told him as he arrived, a weird, but somehow calm composure for him. He tapped Hank's shoulder and left to his car, and Hank shook his head, looking forward and sighing to himself.

He could do this.

Hank stepped inside the graveyard, slowly, pushing the gates open and then closing them behind himself. He sighed, looking around at the badly lit place, and began walking, checking all graves, trying to find Connor.

He knew very well where the android was, but he hoped he wouldn't have to go all the way down there.

Slowly, he reached the correct block, and saw the android kneeled in front of a stone, right in the middle of the block of many dead people. Hank couldn't see exactly what he had around him, it was very dark where the stone stood. But slowly, he walked towards Connor, and everything became a little clearer.

Connor was kneeling to the side of the stone, as if he was afraid of stepping over the empty dirty where the supposed casket should be. Hank knew very well that caskets and bodies were removed after a while, and he knew Connor probably knew that as well, but it was a sign that the kid had some form of respect for the dead.

Then, he noticed the surroundings. There was a vase with white poppies and lavender pieces next to the stone. In front of the vase, a little card, that Hank couldn't really see fully.

The whole image in front of him was already too much, but upon closer inspection, he could see some dried tears on Connor's cheeks.

For some reason, Hank knew he had to be the strong one here.

"You don't have to mourn him for me, kid"

That was... a shitty thing to say. But it was true.

He didn't need Connor to come visit Cole in the date of his death.

"The employees said you only came here once throughout these five years" Connor said, his voice calm and collected, as it usually was. Brought some peace to Hank, he didn't think he could hear Connor's crying voice at that moment. "Why?"

"Because I was a coward" Hank said, honestly, and Connor's eyes finally left the stone, turning slowly to look at Hank, who shrugged. "Because I only had the courage to face him once"

"I'm sorry Hank" Connor said, softly, but Hank could hear the hitch in it, the tremble. "If I could exchange my life for his, I would"

"Connor..." Hank sighed, and looked up at the sky for a second to gain strength before he looked down at the android again, walking towards him and placing his hand on his shoulder. "I wouldn't want you to"

"You told me once yo-"

"Connor" Hank said firmly, but softly, before he squeezed his shoulder. "It is the past. It is done. Finished. Nothing can bring him back. And nothing can bring you back anymore either"

"Wouldn't you rather have Cole back?"

Hank felt a harsh pain in his chest, and he looked down at the stone, sighing deeply and then looking back at Connor.

"That is a question with no answer Connor. I can't have him back. No matter what you do" he said softly, before he slowly kneeled down next to the android, standing face to face with him.

His eyes were shining so bright, fresh tears rising to fill them up, hands holding tight onto his pants, curled up into fists. He looked so much like a lost kid, trying to understand the world, death, and all cruelest concepts of 'being alive'.

"I had to come here" Connor mumbled, drifting his eyes back to the ground, and Hank stared at him, curious to listen. "Humans... humans say that talking to the deceased, or at least their image, helps them understand their path. I... I was wondering if Cole could help me"

"And did he?" Hank asked softly, hand sliding to Connor's upper back, and Connor looked up at the stone, hands tightening around his trousers as he frowned, clearly frustrated.

"N-no" Connor mumbled, his voice breaking, and Hank felt his own heart break. This was just too much. "He showed me nothing..."

Hank smiled weakly. Yeah, he knew that feeling. It was just like that time, two years before. When he had come to the graveyard seeking guidance, and found only more pain and suffering.

"What were you wondering to him? Perhaps I could help" Hank offered, shrugging lightly and wrapping his arm around Connor's shoulders, and he leaned on Hank's hold, sighing weakly before wiping his tears.

"I... I came here to ask him... something selfish" Connor mumbled, looking away despite of still leaning towards Hank. His LED flashed light yellow, and somehow Hank knew he was ashamed. "I shouldn't have come here..."

"Come on son, spill it out" Hank said, squeezing his arm, and his voice was soft and calm, but still a bit playful. "Nothing you do can be as horrible as you think it is"

Connor sighed, and wiped his eyes again, before turning towards Hank, looking at his eyes with his eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

"I came here to ask him... how I could be a good son to you. How I could make you proud. How to make you think of me as you think of him" Connor said, softly, but firm, before he looked down again.

"I know I will never be Cole. Or... or replace him. But I... I want to" he sniffed, suddenly, LED flashing yellow again as he wiped his eyes furiously.

Hank...

Hank was speechless.

"I just want to make you stop suffering!" Connor said, loudly, now unable to control his tears as they slid down his cheeks, his fists hitting his thighs in frustration, eyes and head turned away from Hank as he let his feelings out as he had never before. "But I... I can't! I don't know how! Everything I try seems useless and I thought... I thought..." he sniffled, his rage being taken over by sadness, guilt. "I thought Cole could help me... but he couldn’t..."

Hank felt his world fall apart.

Then, he felt all pieces being glued together oh so perfectly, it almost felt like the entire universe was spinning on the right direction for once.

His heart squeezed tight, and he turned Connor around, an ashamed Connor, that didn't dare to look at him, who had his LED flashing yellow, who still had tears sliding down his cheeks.

His Connor.

His kid.

His _son_.

Hank let out a weak chuckle, filled with feeling, his eyes tearing up for the first time since he had visited Cole's stone all those years ago, and quickly pulled Connor for the tightest hug he could, feeling when the android tensed up, before gripping onto Hank like a lifeline.

He wanted to laugh, to cry, to say that Connor had twisted all truths, but he couldn't. he couldn't, because he was too busy feeling as if he could finally be happy for once.

He felt complete for once.

And Hank held him, tight and secure, and gently kissed the top of his head, despite the snow and cold, and he felt when Connor melt into his arms, face finding a secure spot against Hank's chest, dug up in his many coats, like a child scared of the dark, afraid of monsters and finally safe against someone they trusted.

"You are all that I could ask for, son" he whispered, against Connor's head, and chuckled through his tears when he felt Connor squeezing him tighter.

And in return of that night three years before, he thanked whoever was around them or up there in heaven.

They gave him what he requested, in the form of the most human android they could find.

A child that would last him forever.

An _angel_.

**Author's Note:**

> Gosh, i'm proud of this one. I swear, Connor cries in all my fanfics and I couldn't be happier about my baby boy. 
> 
> If you liked it, feel free to send kudos and comments! I love them! And leave suggestions for future fics as well!


End file.
